The First Time

I swam in a thunderstorm today––
There was no one in the pool,
                                                save me.
The rain hitting the water
causes the pool to get colder,
                                               I noticed
                                               for the first time.

          And, for the first time as well,
          as the lightning broke, and the thunder swelled,

                                            I felt no fear.

          I felt nothing
          for the first time,
          in a long time,
          I felt real.

                            And I knew––
                            that everything around me could change,
                            could become new,

and I could still be happy,
beneath the trees,

                            and I could still smile,
                            as all the while,
                            the rain hits my shoulders––

and the water––

                            And as I entered the air,
                            my whole body
                            felt warmer
                                              for the first time.

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